You are Ugly

iIn third grade I was playing on the playground of my school when one of the girls with brown hair in pig tails said to me, "You can't play with us, you are ugly." The words stuck me like a knife and froze me in my tracks. Now over 30 years later I can still remember exactly where I was standing when she had said those words to me. I had never thought of myself as ugly until that moment but her words planted a seed that plagued me for many years. I would look in the mirror and say the word "ugly." I would avoid playing with others thinking that they would not want to be around me because of how I looked. Now looking back I am amazed at how an off the cuff comment, a rash evaluation of someone in primary school had such a long and lasting effect on my own self perception. You know what they say about sticks and stones and broken bones but words can break the heart and can take much more time to heal than bones. Years later the same girl asked me to go with her to a high school dance. She had no recollection of the words she had spoken to me so many years prior. I remember thinking, I can't believe I gave her words so much power to wound me. I politely told her, "Thanks for the offer but I'm already going with someone else." That day I learned an important lesson. Don't let people lift you up to high or bring you down too low with their words because the chances are they have no idea what they are talking about and their assessment of your value and worth are often subject to change with the seasons or with the wind.