After a year of being depressed, I am finally happy and loving myself and others more and more each day

growing up I was a very happy individua, always keeping a great attitude and wanting the best from myself and everyone. when I went into middle school I really didn’t care what people thought about me, I wore descendants shoes, and unicorn merch, but when I got into 8th grade my cousin got really sick. And he ended up passing away two days before Christmas. that put me in a bad place and I got really sad. I wouldn’t say depressed though. a couple months later my uncle took his own life. that mixed with my cousins death put me in a really bad place in my life. And that’s when I started to get depressed. I wasnt eating. wouldnt shower for days on end. cry everytime I had alone time. I though maybe I had something to do with it. along with that, when I got into high school, nasty rumors started up about me. girls on my own team started them... since people talk and had heard those rumors people started calling me a slut, whore, all these things that wernt even true. and no one would believw me. they went away for a while but then started up again. I talked to a teacher and all they said was basically just not to react. i didnt react infront of anyone only in my own house. and I felt weak and I could do nothing. I got blackmailed into doing bad things which I didn’t do so ofc he got mad at me. I called my friends cruing bc of what he wanted me to do and what he said he would do if I didn’t. he said he would take care of it and I didn’t know what happened after that. I felt like a object anyome thought they could use. I never talked to anyone about it until a few months ago one of my favorite teachers noticed something was off about me. in his own words ” im not being my loud sassy self “ and was worried I was hurtung myself. so he talked to the school counselor. which I didn’t like and ofc I didn’t tell them. so weeks go by and I go into his office balking my eyes out, being hopeless. he let me talk to him. I told him everything. that same day I had practice for poms. and before practice I was balling my eyes out in the bathroom not wanting to go but I had too. so I went to practice and the coaches noticed something was wrong too. I told them I talked to someone already and they said that was fine. the day after I talked to him I really started feeling better. And since then i have just been living my life how I should been :)