Joe's story

When you’re a teenager and your parents are getting a divorce, there’s no way to feel that doesn’t make you a cliche. When you’re a kid, it’s easy to get swept up in the emotions of things, you cry along side your mom and dad until the end, and eventually you get double Christmases as a consolation prize. Being a teenager is a little different, at fifteen or sixteen you’re old enough to form opinions, and more importantly, to take sides. If it’s a clean breakup, the agency that comes with your age results simply in endless somber conversations about who you’re going to live with for your last two years of high school. But if it’s a messy breakup, your house becomes a coliseum where your parents compete to win the support of you and your siblings. My parents were… somewhere in between the two extremes. Things remained civil on the surface, but sometimes information on bad things one of my parents said or did would just casually be dropped into the conversation as the other parent left the room. For the most part, my sister and I were unimpressed, remaining firmly on the side of “We love you both, and we don’t need to be a part of this.” This is what I meant in the opening line of this story, it seems that everyone my age in similar situations that I talked to came to the same very stereotypical-teenagery opinion that they just don’t care. We were sympathetic, of course. Our parents love us, and to see either of them hurting is hard. But seeing your parents as fallible, and remaining non partial when you can tell you’re being coerced by every side are important skills when becoming an adult. In the end, the divorce was over, and things actually felt more normal than they had in the previous year. My parents remain friends today. Both of them left the career paths they were on during their marriage in order to pursue their childhood dreams. And after some time, both individually apologized to my sister and I for trying to get us involved in their fighting. I’m proud of my sister and I for staying steadfast in our refusal to take sides. If we hadn’t, I’m not sure our relationship would be as good with either of the people who raised us today. Love ya, mom & dad!